In a world where politeness is dying, Taiwan is the antidote.
February 2021
Shortly after we moved to Taiwan we met two friends for lunch. There is one expression you absolutely must know to live here, Mike said. “Bu hao yi si”.
Pronounced “boo how ee si”, it translates as “excuse me”, “I’m embarrassed” or “I’m sorry”. Literally it means “not good meaning”.
Despite the fact that we had lived in China and Hong Kong, this expression was almost entirely new to us. Mitzi had heard it before, but rarely. I had never heard it.
Now we use it every day. We use it when someone is blocking our way, and we want to to get off a bus. We use it as a greeting, and to attract someone’s attention. And we use it if we have caused another person even the smallest inconvenience.
When a Chinese speaking friend from Hong Kong came to visit us she quickly wanted to know “what’s with all the bu hao yi si and the nodding stuff?”
There is also a lot of nodding here. We nod to shop assistants to say hello, and to thank them. We nod to acknowledge someone who has done something for us, like making space on the metro. And we nod to people on the street, or in the park, and get a nod back, as well as a smile which simply says I recognise you in my world.
At first, this seemed a bit strange, but we quickly came to like it. It’s a little like the oil that makes a machine run smoothly. It eases the passage of the day and minimises disruption. The nodding, saying bu hao yi si and small bows are not done for effect but with genuine meaning. They are marks of respect to those around you. Compared to our time in Europe, where so much seemed a battle, and people were sometimes aggressive and quick to anger, Taiwan is like living with Mozart playing in the background. Everyone is always thinking about the welfare of others.
We not me
When the Taiwanese were asked to keep their distance and wear masks after Covid-19 appeared, everyone did it without question. No one objected, partly because they often wore masks if they had sniffles anyway. Rather than saying to themselves “I’ll do what I want and I don’t care about you”, as many did in Europe and the US, people here regard the welfare of others as important.
This thinking takes many forms, though they are often hard to see. There are local community associations which provide help when people need it. There are notices on trains to remind you to help others. Blind people have an app they can activate so they are helped through stations by one of the staff. Everyone is expected to look out for children, who are colloquially known as “small friends”.
There are even courtesy umbrellas.
It rains a lot in Taiwan, especially when there is a typhoon, though there have been very few recently. The rain can also begin suddenly and be extremely heavy. It is easy to get caught out.
Shortly after we arrived here, Mitzi came out of an office building to find it was raining. She had no coat and no umbrella and would get soaked if she tried running to the nearest subway station. Spotting her plight, an elderly woman on the other side of the street came across with her umbrella and, without a word, escorted her to the metro station.
What about when she got to the station though?, you might ask. Her problem was solved. When it rains, the stations put courtesy umbrellas in baskets by the exits. If you need an umbrella you simply take one and bring it back when you’re done.
No charge.